Friday, April 16, 2010
The following is a work of fiction. This is just another character I pulled out of thin air.
New baby. Newly single. I stood in the middle of my new apartment. It was completely empty and my footsteps echoed around the room. I looked around at the shabby walls. God, I didn’t even think to ask if this place was old enough to have lead paint coated somewhere underneath some of the newer paint.
I looked down at my sleeping daughter in her infant car seat. “I guess I am just going to have to make sure you don’t gnaw on any walls when you get a little older.” I whispered. She didn’t know how hard this was for me. She would never know. I would work to make sure she didn’t know.
I had a fairly decent job. Everything had been almost perfect until my fiancé kicked me out. He said he wasn’t ready for this whole family thing. I had watched as he began to view me with disgust as I got bigger. I had almost expected to be kicked out shortly after my daughter was born. Well thanks for that, Asshole. Thanks a heap. I was forced to live with my mom until I could get a place of my own. It didn’t take long. Thank goodness I still had that job.
The movers were going to be delivering my furniture within the next few minutes. My daughter stirred. She’d need to eat in a bit. I opened her pink diaper bag. I took out the can of formula and set it on the counter along with her bottle and the gallon of water I brought with me. My daughters cries began in earnest and I mentally patted myself on the back for having such a good internal clock.
I sat against the wall and cradled my daughter’s tiny body in my arms as I fed her. I wondered just how the hell I was going to get through this alone. Sometimes new wasn’t good. Sometimes new wasn’t easy, or happy, or exciting. Sometimes new was damn scary and I was… scared.
I looked down into my daughters eyes. She was just so content and so oblivious to any of the problems in this world. So I would make sure that this new little person didn’t feel how afraid I was. She would know that she was always the best new thing in my life. She would know that every new or exciting thing she did was the best new and exciting thing in the world.
The knock on the door startled me. The movers were there with my things. Time for my new life to start.