Monday, October 26, 2009

Misunderstood Little Miss

I woke up this morning to loud hysterical screaming. All in a moment a million scenarios went through my head as to what could be wrong. I prodded James as I had been up nursing the baby at the time, and he jumped like there was a fire to go see what the matter was. The next thing I heard was arguing between James and Isabella. Of course I had to derail the situation. It seems Isabella was screaming for me at almost 6:30 in the morning for no other reason than to tell me that she really wanted to go to school. James was annoyed to say the least. He was in there arguing with her about screaming through the house so early in the morning and the fact that she was most certainly NOT going to school. I went in and felt her forehead which was as hot as it was last night. I told James not to argue with her and that I would take care of it. It seems I am always telling him not to argue with her. You would think he would know better. Anyway, I had to explain to this very irrational feverish child that she could not go to school and she could not scream through the house at 6:30 in the morning unless it was a dire emergency. End of crisis.

Now everyone who knows me knows also that I have 5 kids. Not so much when you really think about it. Even less when all are well behaved children. My kids are, for the most part, pretty well behaved. Gabriel is more than a little spoiled *coughdaddycough*. But for that he would be very good. As it is, I have to put up with a lot of fit throwing. *eye roll*

I have one really tough case. Isabella. Isabella has a problem with the word no. A big problem. I could say no ‘till I’m blue in the face and she would still keep on asking. If it is something she really wants then I and James are in for a raging, screaming, kicking, and sometimes biting and scratching hissy fit. On this I am not even close to exaggerating. I have learned to cut off the conversation on most cases when the argument is between her and me. I can say, “No, and this conversation is over.” It works 9 times out of 10. When it is she and James, however, I have to be brought in to derail the situation. When it is just him it almost always turns into the above extreme situation. She has no respect for his authority and he doesn’t give her the respect she deserves either. It’s so frustrating! I have told him time and again how to handle tense situations with her, but he just won’t listen. It’s like having an extra child.

Most of my family has chosen favorites amongst my children. (My mom excluded) My younger brothers are partial to Roxanne. They think she is cute, sweet, and kind hearted. They are right, but I can’t help feeling that Isabella is misunderstood and ill treated on the in-law’s side especially (my father-in-law and brother-in-law, Nick excluded). That is why I am so grateful to my older brother, David who blatantly favors Isabella. I know I shouldn’t encourage such behavior in my family, but there are so many things one can’t help. Isabella is so misunderstood by so many people that I can’t help but want her to feel special and loveable.

I recently found out that Isabella probably has a behavioral disorder called Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). I get this really helpful newsletter that helps parents deal with difficult children called Empowering Parents. It has helped me a lot. My question to all of you is how do I get everyone on board with me? Should I just tell everyone that I will deal with her myself? Is there some advice anyone can give me on how to deal with my tough case?

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